INROADS OF PATRIARCHY

How often do we hear intellectuals, professionals, and so called ‘progressive minds’ saying that ONE LINE, to project how well they have imbibed the concept of gender equality and emancipation of women and wish to instill the same among the masses, thus apparently reflecting the take-off on the runway of progress and open-mindedness. That ONE LINE: respect a woman because she is a mother, daughter, sister, etc etc,
This ONE LINE ironically reflects the deeper inroads of patriarchy itself, defeating the very purpose which the line was intended to serve. Thus it exposes the nature of mediocrity our society still thrives in and the level of development and progress attained by the people who propound such ideas. Respecting a woman just because she is a mother, daughter….and all that, is not the mark of respect but in actuality it is a statement that reinforces the system of [patriarchy, thus confining the woman’s role to a mother, daughter, sister…etc and overlooking her own individuality; not considering her a human first, before anything else.
Do we ever come across the statement: respect a man as he is a father, brother, son etc etc. NO, because unfortunately a ‘man’ is a word enough to define a person’s individuality, and this is not just unfortunate but illogical and bizarre!
Does a woman not deserve equal respect for just being a human first? Before assigning other roles to her, is she not an individual complete in herself?
The system that reckons the woman as the epitome of sacrifices, thinking that she was born to endure all the sufferings (bardaasht karo; you must endure, bear it all) reflects the reduced individuality of a woman. She must endure? Why? Salman Rushdie’s words come to my mind, “What can’t be cured must be endured”. So have we accepted that we can’t cure the issue of gender disparities, have we already given up on the fight to attain gender equality, and now we do not have any option but to endure? And this is considered normal!
I remember attending an event in Jammu, where in a cultural program, the life stages of a woman was shown through dance performance. They showed the transition from baby to daughter to wife. Firstly the entire concept didn’t go down well with me, secondly in the show, as the girl’s student life was over and she graduated and we all clapped, but then the stage of marriage was shown, and we were shocked at the enthusiastic response from the crowd: they started hooting loudly and clapping even like mads, that even educated students clapped more at the marriage stage than they did at the graduation stage,  and as long as we carry such an approach and perception, nothing will change much- it made me realize how deep the inroads of patriarchy are and it acted as the indicator or litmus test of real education.
Nowadays, in Kashmir, I often hear about how a woman has doubled her own work by entering into various professions. Now how mediocre and idiotic is that! If men feel that a woman’s work has doubled due to her job, why don’t they exert to help her in the domestic chores, instead of discouraging her.
Lastly the individuality of a woman is further undermined by her own hands when she compresses her competetiveness; when in fact the case should be the opposite! Woman should strive to be more educated and competitive because they’ll be judged everywhere by stereotypes who keep on quoting from that abstract, intangible rule book “You are a girl, so you shouldn’t do this…, Behave, you are a girl” and one feels like asking-really? As if being a boy gives the boys a license to misbehave. It all sums down to one thing: evaluate both men and women on equal parameters based on logic- stop judging blindly, you are not God! A woman is no lesser human. These are the small things, but anything that sounds sexist- a casual joke or a statement of that nature, has to be done away with. Things are not so simple as they appear- the inroads of patriarchy are so deep that we do not even realize it at times, when we unconsciously swim down the other sea.
We need the world to realize that a woman is a human first and only then can the feminist wave gather further momentum- and is it not the idea of humanity as well: to have a world more humane!

—Sana Shah